I hate this so much.

I adore him so much and yet I get so fucking discombobulated because he continues to give me these mixed signs and then … when I try to talk about them, I end up being the fucking bitch and sounding like the crazy because what does he do, he shuts up like a clam and doesn’t talk about it. I feel so upset and lonely and confused … All I want is him. Ill never be able to have that will I… Never. Ever. In the world. God fuck … I don’t want everyone else to be right because I really … I really do feel some sort of love for him. I’m so physically and mentally attached to him that I really do … And now if something does happen, I’ll be the one left in the dust and upset and broken … I don’t want that …