Everyone is telling me I should wary.
Wary of what?
Yes, I know we have a past and it was 9 months ago.
Yes, I know he has a lot of girls by his side that adores him probably as much as me.
Yes, I know he could end up leaving me because he’s scared or doesn’t want to fuck things up between us.
None of that I want, but I understand.
All of that I’m wishing will not come true.
He told me he still cared for me.
He told me I was one of the only ones he thought of dating.
Online.
He told me he needed time because it’s been so long.
So that could be a bad sign.
But I’m not letting him go.
No, not till I’m happy and my heart won’t die when he tells me goodbye.
Absolutely not.
I am greedy.
Very.
I get what I want, when I want.
And all I want is him.
I want him so badly.
Even if he’s not really here, I just want to hold him tightly and become absolute incandescent in his arms.
Just him.
All I’ve ever wanted from a man was him.
Just him.
Nothing else in the world.
Not sex, not gifts, not his heart on a golden platter.
Just him.
I want time, want his voice, want him.
Just him.
Fuck.
I don’t know.
I’m just going with the fucking shit that’s on the table.
Why push them away when you just want your wishes.
No.
I am not going to listen to the shit that everyone gives.
So what If my heart is in another man’s hands.
Fuck, it’s been there since JUNE.
Understand that I don’t intend on leaving.
My decision.
Not yours.
Some part of me is scared.
It’s scared that it will happen.
That he will just get up and leave.
I am trying very hard for it not to happen.
I just want him.
Gods, all I want … Its all I want.
Why is that so hard for people to understand?
That I just want him.
Its seems it’s hard for men to understand too.
Why?
Why is that so hard to fucking understand?
Why?
Why?
Why is something so simple so hard for people to grasp in their hands?
Why?
I don’t want it to be anymore.
I don’t want to be bruised for something so simple, anymore.
I just … I just.
Please.
Gods.
Please.
My fields are empty. Nothing. Confusion. Wondering. They are still and motionless. Nothing. They are lying in questioning.
Wary of what?
Yes, I know we have a past and it was 9 months ago.
Yes, I know he has a lot of girls by his side that adores him probably as much as me.
Yes, I know he could end up leaving me because he’s scared or doesn’t want to fuck things up between us.
None of that I want, but I understand.
All of that I’m wishing will not come true.
He told me he still cared for me.
He told me I was one of the only ones he thought of dating.
Online.
He told me he needed time because it’s been so long.
So that could be a bad sign.
But I’m not letting him go.
No, not till I’m happy and my heart won’t die when he tells me goodbye.
Absolutely not.
I am greedy.
Very.
I get what I want, when I want.
And all I want is him.
I want him so badly.
Even if he’s not really here, I just want to hold him tightly and become absolute incandescent in his arms.
Just him.
All I’ve ever wanted from a man was him.
Just him.
Nothing else in the world.
Not sex, not gifts, not his heart on a golden platter.
Just him.
I want time, want his voice, want him.
Just him.
Fuck.
I don’t know.
I’m just going with the fucking shit that’s on the table.
Why push them away when you just want your wishes.
No.
I am not going to listen to the shit that everyone gives.
So what If my heart is in another man’s hands.
Fuck, it’s been there since JUNE.
Understand that I don’t intend on leaving.
My decision.
Not yours.
Some part of me is scared.
It’s scared that it will happen.
That he will just get up and leave.
I am trying very hard for it not to happen.
I just want him.
Gods, all I want … Its all I want.
Why is that so hard for people to understand?
That I just want him.
Its seems it’s hard for men to understand too.
Why?
Why is that so hard to fucking understand?
Why?
Why?
Why is something so simple so hard for people to grasp in their hands?
Why?
I don’t want it to be anymore.
I don’t want to be bruised for something so simple, anymore.
I just … I just.
Please.
Gods.
Please.
My fields are empty. Nothing. Confusion. Wondering. They are still and motionless. Nothing. They are lying in questioning.
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