Dear the man that holds my heart,
I want to scream on the top of my lungs about how I can't get a single word from you that you care. I want to fall to my knees and never try anymore to get it from you, but yet, I can't. I can't even try to not to talk to you at all because I get so happy just speaking to you and I now feel like the overbearing person. The only way I feel like you want me around is when I offer my body to you, like before. Is that all you care about? Because I feel so much for you that it’s so unconditionally hurting me from the inside. I'm crying because I can't help but think about all this when I get this so fucking depressed. And I can't even fix myself like this, because all I do is lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. Thinking about the things that make me frown, and when I do they just cloud up my fucking head and they can't go away and I fall deeper. I don’t want to think about you like this anymore because I care, adore and feel like I'm falling so hard for you and I just want to think about being with you. I want you so much. I hate myself for how badly I want you. Its hurts so much. And I don’t even think you know … or care. Part of me thinks that you’re just leading me on to drop me hard on my ass and I’ll be the one now left behind. As much as that sounds ridiculous I can't help it and you know what, I kind of feel like it. I also don’t give a two shits that you’re busy. Yes I do to a degree, but the fact that I can't get a simple hello from your own efforts is driving me up this continuous wall of fucking emotions that I have obviously shown in this fucking rant of bullshit. I feel like I'm angry. I feel so torn. I feel so confused. I want to fall to my knees and just beg to you what I want from you. I want you body and soul. You make me so frustrated about how much I physically and mentally want you that I could burst from ear to ear. I wish you could be more persistent in wanting me. I wish you could be push me to tell me what’s wrong till I have no more to say. I wish you would never give up. I wish you could just let me have you. I can't even begin to think about it all because I feel like if I wanted to tell you and wanted to push this on you, you will walk away and I will be left alone with these tears I'm crying. But I'm not going to give this too you. One day, I'm going to have to man up and actually tell you how I feel. How I feel confused and awkward, maybe as much as you. Maybe were both just incredibly awkward and we can't figure anything out. Maybe it would be better if I just told you how I feel. I don’t know … Maybe one day. But for now, this was a letter for you never to see. A letter I wanted to let out of my system to make me get rid of all the nasty. I feel better, somewhat. I still want you. Badly. For better, or for worse.
Sincerely,
The question girl that adores you.
I want to scream on the top of my lungs about how I can't get a single word from you that you care. I want to fall to my knees and never try anymore to get it from you, but yet, I can't. I can't even try to not to talk to you at all because I get so happy just speaking to you and I now feel like the overbearing person. The only way I feel like you want me around is when I offer my body to you, like before. Is that all you care about? Because I feel so much for you that it’s so unconditionally hurting me from the inside. I'm crying because I can't help but think about all this when I get this so fucking depressed. And I can't even fix myself like this, because all I do is lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. Thinking about the things that make me frown, and when I do they just cloud up my fucking head and they can't go away and I fall deeper. I don’t want to think about you like this anymore because I care, adore and feel like I'm falling so hard for you and I just want to think about being with you. I want you so much. I hate myself for how badly I want you. Its hurts so much. And I don’t even think you know … or care. Part of me thinks that you’re just leading me on to drop me hard on my ass and I’ll be the one now left behind. As much as that sounds ridiculous I can't help it and you know what, I kind of feel like it. I also don’t give a two shits that you’re busy. Yes I do to a degree, but the fact that I can't get a simple hello from your own efforts is driving me up this continuous wall of fucking emotions that I have obviously shown in this fucking rant of bullshit. I feel like I'm angry. I feel so torn. I feel so confused. I want to fall to my knees and just beg to you what I want from you. I want you body and soul. You make me so frustrated about how much I physically and mentally want you that I could burst from ear to ear. I wish you could be more persistent in wanting me. I wish you could be push me to tell me what’s wrong till I have no more to say. I wish you would never give up. I wish you could just let me have you. I can't even begin to think about it all because I feel like if I wanted to tell you and wanted to push this on you, you will walk away and I will be left alone with these tears I'm crying. But I'm not going to give this too you. One day, I'm going to have to man up and actually tell you how I feel. How I feel confused and awkward, maybe as much as you. Maybe were both just incredibly awkward and we can't figure anything out. Maybe it would be better if I just told you how I feel. I don’t know … Maybe one day. But for now, this was a letter for you never to see. A letter I wanted to let out of my system to make me get rid of all the nasty. I feel better, somewhat. I still want you. Badly. For better, or for worse.
Sincerely,
The question girl that adores you.
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